


Home and Heart Alike

by DrowningInStarlight



Category: Kane and Feels (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: Wonderland II, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 18:16:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17771816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrowningInStarlight/pseuds/DrowningInStarlight
Summary: The first time Lucifer Kane saw Brutus Feels again, Feels was lying unconscious on a client's sofa.





	Home and Heart Alike

**Author's Note:**

> Someone had to write the first fic in the Kane and Feels tag, so here I am.

The first time Lucifer Kane saw Brutus Feels again, Feels was lying unconscious on a client's sofa. Of course he was. This was Feels, he always did his damn best to do his job and protect people, even if it killed him. Even if it left him wandering somewhere else, without Kane's voice to guide him home. Kane had hoped he would cool it a little when Kane wasn't there to help, but he should have known better. A client and a case, a client and a case. Feels was as immoveable as stone. 

"You stupid..." Kane muttered. When he'd first seen him lying there on the small, shabby sofa, his feet dangling off the end, he'd thought for a sickening moment that whatever job this is _had_ killed Feels. But the doctor, friend of a friend of the family who's house this was or something, Kane hadn't been paying attention, had assured him otherwise. At Kane's... polite request.

"Mr Feels is stable," he'd squeaked, holding his hands up in surrender as Kane grabbed his collar and pushed him against the door frame. "We stopped the bleeding, he's just sleeping! He's fine, he's fine, Mr Kane please let go of me..." 

Feels had mumbled something, then rubbed his eyes blearily, half sitting up, and Kane released the doctor sharply. He was bigger than Kane, but he still looked petrified. 

"I'll just give you some space," he'd said hastily, backing out of the room. Kane practically slammed the door in his face. 

Feels was sitting up properly now. He still looked confused and tired-- so tired, Kane noticed, bags under his eyes and a slump to his shoulders. _That's probably on me_. 

Feels might have looked tired, but the moment he saw Kane he tensed up. 

"Hello, Brutus," Kane said at the same moment that Feels said "Oh not bloody this again." 

"I, er, what?" 

"I am _so_ tired of this one!" Brutus said, addressing the world at large. "Look, could we go back to one of the others? Or, how about actually letting me wake up this time, is that really so much to ask?" 

"Brutus, you know you're not still in _there_ , right?" Lucifer said gently. 

"Doesn't matter. In my head while I'm dreaming or in the buffer world, it's the same. It's all bloody you, but you're _gone._ " 

"No, I'm not," Lucifer protested. "I'm back, I'm back now."

"Wow, you really think that'll convince me?" Brutus said. The bitterness in his tone shocked Lucifer a little, tugging at him sadly. "Yeah, that didn't even work the first time. He, you, whatever, abandoned me. He realised he could do better. Went to find someone else to be his counterweight. He's probably saving the world right now, without me, with someone better. It's for the best. I'm _over it._ " 

"I, no, that's not... that's not true. I'm sorry, Brutus." 

Brutus paused. "The apology's new," he said in a quieter voice. "Suppose I couldn't imagine it so the monsters never took it from my thoughts. Look, can we... can we get it over with, please?" 

"Get what over with?" 

"The whole killing thing. I kill you, or you kill me, or something else kills you because I wasn't there to stop it. It's hard to unlearn the habit of watching each other's backs. You know, I never told you how many times I pulled the I'm-the-craziest-one-in-the-room-until-you-get-back thing, but I can't do it now you're gone. I don't know why that's always the first thing I think about when I miss you, but it is. Now I just look crazy all the time. I feel crazy. No one understands why I can't sleep at night like you do and the flat's really quiet..." he swallowed. "The flat's really quiet." 

"No, stop," Lucifer said. "I think you must be concussed or something-- I knew I hated that doctor for a reason-- because this is _stupid._ It's _me_. I don't... how do I..." he looked wildly around the room, searching for inspiration. He saw the paper bag sticking out of Feels' pocket and clutched at the straw. "Our favourite Chinese place is General Wu's. 34 and 63 and fried seaweed for me," he said. "You're right, sometimes you don't sleep at night and I'm even worse than you are, so we stay up and watch the bad horror films Jenny lends us, and you fall asleep and snore loudly enough to keep me awake, and it's annoying but also strangely comforting to know that someone else is in the flat, living and breathing. That it's not just me alone with the shadows."

"Luce?" Feels breathed, but Kane kept going. 

"You wear awful jackets a lot, really awful ones, one time I tricked you into leaving one in Scotland, and of course I didn't disappear to go replace you, there's only one you and you're it and sometimes I think I'd go mad without you--" 

He was stopped by Feels wrapping him in his arms. 

"Oh, hello," Kane managed weakly. "Not so tight-- can't breathe--" 

Brutus very slowly released his grip. "I'm going," he said pleasantly, "to fucking murder you." 

"Missed you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @drowninginstarlights!


End file.
